Sunday, May 6, 2018

I Just Am

As the sky opens its curtains to the stars,

I see the Universe and feel its vastness.

It allows me rest.


I see that I am not here to question my presence, I just am.


I know my past has been filled with numerous directions.

But realize that my journey was predetermined

and gracefully accept the course.





Trust me, I tried fighting the offerings by wandering about.

But nothings led me nowhere,

and finally out of exhaustion I fell.


For me this is a second of revelation that I alone live.


I wish that I had found it,

the thing that couldn't be.

But now the stars guide me so I just am.




Monday, April 30, 2018

I Have Not Been Perfect

Today I realized that I have never reached perfection.

No matter how hard I tried, 

no matter the endless face masks, 

unfulfilling liquid diets,  

exhausting exercise plans,

lonely soul searching weekend getaways, 

chapters and chapters of dust covered books,

tearjerking love stories to move me,

perfection was never achieved.


My skin never looked flawless,

my body never acquired the perfect weight or curve,

tranquility and peace did not reside in my mind,

words on pages seemed empty and pretentious,

and love never ever reached my shore.

So finally, I have concluded that

up until now perfection has not defined me.

No matter how hard I tried,

I have not been perfect.



Saturday, April 14, 2018

Meet You At Infinity


Indefinite affection,

overpowering fervor,


boundless love,

that's what I feel for you.

Meet You At Infinity


Monday, February 5, 2018

HOPE

A ray of light has been leading my path,

always there watching over me.

I never looked for the beam.


Thought I was walking in shadows,

instead my road was predetermined, 

with ghosts guiding the way.



Monday, January 1, 2018

Borrowed Words

I borrowed a poem to start an adventure.

Its true meaning I didn't quite understand but still made it my own.

I didn't know where it'd take me, I didn't care for how long,

I just journeyed in character far from the one I had known.

Somewhere along the pathway, I felt my footing off.

I couldn't describe the sensation except to say my steps seemed broken.

Each move that I took brought me further from a lifeline

and the further I went I saw nothing of me.


So here I am admitting that borrowed words like borrowed lives have no meaning.

The words we use to feed our souls, our hopes and dreams cannot belong to someone else.

The light that shines out from within all of us shoots out in different angles,

but the truest and purest light is found inside the most unpretentious and uncomplicated souls.

This new year I follow my own voice.

With humility I bow to shed the words that were not mine

and place them back where I first found them.

This is me in a perfect state of imperfection wishing all of you in my own words love.

Saturday, December 9, 2017

I Love Our Distance

It allows me to breathe but still feel connected.

It gives me comfort when I look up at the moon to see you staring back my way.


It's chaos and serenity all in one.

What the Universe created is just us.

It's who we are, it's who we have been throughout eternity.



Saturday, November 25, 2017

Waiting Just For You

Waiting
for the day you come into my life,
my heart is swept away,
I find you by my side smiling.

Waiting
for the day I reach out to hold your hand,
I feel your tender touch,
I have you next to me caring.

Waiting
for the day I feel the safety of your arms,
laughter fills my life,
I float into a perfect state of happiness.

                          
Waiting just for you.





Sunday, May 14, 2017

Mi Amorcito



I was just thinking of how different life might have been.

Moments slipped by so fast, so many lost and forgotten.

Nothing truly captured, reality sadly erased with time.

Here we are now holding on to the seconds of life.

Trying to feel the heartbeats, keeping the tears inside our minds.

Wishing the journey had lasted longer, maybe with gentler kinder waves.

I know you're still here loving me with all that you have.

It's just that a part of you is trapped unable to communicate your love.

This loss has me lost and frightened, desperately yearning for the clock to rewind.

All I want is for you know and understand how much I love you.

That we are eternally connected by something greater than life.

Without you I lose myself and slowly cease to exist.

I know these words are too late and meaningless now.

I just thought I had plenty of time to say them.

I hope you feel them somehow and know that my heart is forever with you.

Happy Mother's Day mi amorcito - I am always here for you.


Monday, May 1, 2017

Wherever Here Is


Ok, so I don't know where here is.

Seems simple enough a statement but has me wandering under bridges.

Is here before or after you?

Is here my mind, my body or my soul?


Tough to figure out wherever here is.

I thought I knew, I thought it was clear enough,

but I don't seem to know a thing anymore.

I figure it's alright not to know, to float, to dream,


to live in two parallel worlds.

Wherever here is, now seems to be suspended

somewhere between me and you.



Saturday, March 25, 2017

I'm Racing

Rhythm lost, conformity dead, sword broken

Cobwebs imprison my mind grounded

Something's missing, can't place it. can't grasp it

Racing the darkness before it arrives

Keeping in shadows layering armor

I'm racing


Shielding life

Exhausted by people who walk with the purpose of stepping off cliffs

Discouraged by those I find sitting on ledges

Wordless disappointment, unexplainable loss

Chasing moon drops for a sign

Waiting for answers to unfold

I'm Racing


Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Dearest Love

Dearest love,

I am writing to let you know that I have missed you.

Sometimes when it's really quiet I hear the sound of your voice in my head.

Other times for no reason at all your image flashes before me.

I wish that I had hugged you when I said goodbye, held  you close for one last time.

I wish that I had told you that I loved you dearly, but words escaped me as I ran.


I never knew how to truly believe, how to stop to be loved.

I never felt forever was in me, that peace could occupy my soul.

So today I decided to write and let you know that you're still living inside me,

deeply engraved in every crevice of my heart.

As for me I seem to be somewhere between the earth and the howling wind,


still unsettled, still at war, still unable to come find you.

I hope you understand.

For now just know that I carry you with me everywhere I go,

and maybe one day the paths that pulled us apart might bring us together again.

I love you.

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Forever Changed

Never a straight line is the path down a mountain.

The rock falling will encounter obstacles that will hinder its descent.

Rubbing it, blocking it, redirecting it little by little wearing it down.

Sadly the journey will not be without its countless scars.

Some rocks will get stuck in the grooves along the way, ending their trip. 


Some will be shattered beyond recognition and form, while others

will be softened with each blow made to lose their shimmering edge.

But no matter the downward course, all will be forever changed.

No rock will ever be as it was, leaving in its place 

fragmented pieces of what once stood high.



Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Eternally Beating


Eternal is the heart,
that never finds its peace.

Beating through decay it festers,
twisting, squeezing inside its lifeless tomb.


Replaying phrases, words and meanings,
 reliving flashes that brought upon demise.

Nothing but echoes left to ripple,
back, forth, forever throughout the ends of time.




Thursday, January 28, 2016

Time


Time is fading
so much unsaid, so much undone.

Floating somewhere between
yesterday and tomorrow.

Looking for today to unravel
itself through the wind.

Feeling the loss of the moment past
and the moment that will never come to be.

Needing time to freeze until 
I finally figure out this ride called life.


Sunday, May 17, 2015

Home To You

I lost the fire to my soul,
somewhere in time.

Since, it has been wandering,
centuries looking to find and inhale yours.

The stars are not as bright and
the Sun never burns my skin anymore.

Looking for your essence
in the empty eyes of strangers,



feeling for your presence
under each and every stone,

endlessly I wander,
to feel the fire of your touch.

Hopelessly needing to hear the universe,
through the whispers of your voice.

Alas, long and weary is the road
that leads me home to you.






Friday, February 6, 2015

Opening the Door to Life

With light I travel on the path that I carve.

There's a glow on the ground by my footsteps leading charge.


How funny to wander running circles in the mind,

waiting for time to clear the clutter filling up the habits of the daily grind.


Then suddenly without warning, my footing becomes long

moving towards shiny moon drops, like a new born yearning strong.


Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Lost With You

Timeless moments spent roaming in search of eternal flames.

Thirsty for the unattainable and aching for the treasures hidden inside the walls.

Breathless and determined we wandered losing ourselves in the maze of life.

This I carry back as I cross over into my universe, my time, my life.

I carry within me the rubble that captured my heart in a city lost with you.

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Lost In Translation

The world is a marvel

to cherish, to love.

Its people descendants
of gods all above.

How hard is it really
to reach out a hand?


To comfort the needy
to nourish their land.

Is peace just an imagine
in some off dreamland?

Or will we cross over
revolt and finally disband? 






Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Crossroad

The button that I pushed,
found its way across to you.

It was simple misdirection,
not pure quantum calculation.

Didn't think about the journey,
nor the stops along each day.

Just kept looking for more buttons,
to keep doors and paths your way.


The conspiracy to journey,
to defy an act of fate,

brought the voyage to an ending,
through a windless sailing state.

So I stopped and took a breather,
at a crossroad found a row.

Felt a loss of something greater,
but knew time had lost its glow.


Sunday, January 26, 2014

In Search of a Soul


So here I am ~ alone,
filtering the pieces ~ snipping,
wondering at the shape.

How did the puzzle of my life web out,
to its existing shape?

Where did the fit get forced in,
to create this design?

Was it possible to transform the shapes,
into different patterns ~ to bring an outcome,
that included love, trust, support, and sunshine?

Cutting and reshaping the pieces of my life,
seem a reasonable choice ~ but into what?

Where do I reroute?  Where do I delete?
Where do I add ~ and what shape should it be?

These are the questions left,
the questions left to life.

Sunday, November 3, 2013

The Dance of Travel

Took a train-ride into Boston that inspired me to move.

Saw the landscape through the tree-line full of beauty and soft bloom.

Colors rich in reds and yellows, orange browns on green soft hills.

What an eyesight to behold my vision ~ thirsty, hungry for a thrill.


It reminded me that bridges are the crossings of the bold,

always timeless, always reaching through the passage and the old.

Farms and buildings made of bricks laid across the rails unraveled.

And with beauty and cloaked magic made me feel the dance of travel.


Lifeline



Sing a song to me at nighttime
when the moon is full and bright.

Sing of dreams with soft caresses
sing of silks and feathers' flight.

When you finish all your verses
reach and touch my tired shore.

Cause your songs enchant the lifeline
that keeps air inside my core.

Mind Graffiti


\

The colors that have splattered are 
the markings of my mind.

They are full of bright sharp edges
with soft circles at each line.

Single letters tell a story
each with bold and curvy strokes.

Sometimes loudly, sometimes softly
but each layered in the mold.

How I wish a pretty picture
could these images portray.

But instead, they are the markings
of a burst of cans array.

Have you ever painted over
walls that never seem to end?

It's impossible to phantom how
graffiti stays on sand.




Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Behind Every Flag Lies a Borderless Sun

The silly ramblings of a hopeless wanderer!




You are the voice inside my head that I don't know how to let go of.

If I stop carrying you with me everywhere I go ... will you cease to exist or will I?

Knowing that I will never reach you leaves me aching at my core.

My heart feels lost, my mind feels empty ... my spirit broken.

You were the lighthouse, the beam that kept leading me home ... 

Now I carry my home in my shadow  ... 

always close enough to see ... but never able to reach or touch.

Yesterday I thought of you as you can clearly see ...

but thoughts alone don't transform a dream.

Letting go of you is like letting go of me ... what do I do?

You will forever be my curse, my dream, my life ... my loss.



Friday, February 15, 2013

Through Love & Light


Launched ~ February 14, 2013 
Stay Tuned ;-)



Friday, October 12, 2012

Somebody Like You ...



I knew of your importance before I ever knew you.

I felt the loss of not having you before you even appeared.

I ached at not being able to touch you before hearing your voice.

Paralyzed by your image unfolding before me, I froze.

You were never meant to be real.

You were a dance inside my head,  

a fantasy whispering love songs into my soul.

Yet you came!

How could I react to knowing you were real?

To knowing every thought I had you knew ... 

every feeling I felt you felt?

How could I let you in when you were inside me ...

 silent, watching ...

I couldn't cross over to tell you I had been waiting ... 

waiting for you all along.

In the end all I had was fear ...

Fear of not being good enough ...

Fear of not ever knowing how to love ... 

Somebody like you.

Friday, July 20, 2012

Loophole in Love ~ The Prenup

A Prenuptial Agreement as defined in legal terms is: a written contract between two people who are about to marry, setting out the terms of possession of assets, treatment of future earnings, control of the property of each, and potential division if the marriage is later dissolved.


Breaking down the reality behind the Prenup ~ My Spin: 
Although wise in narrow and limited cases a prenup has a way of rubbing even the most loving person the wrong way. A prenup says so much more than what is written on paper.


It says that in the event the marriage ends up in divorce:  
He/she does not trust that you will be fair. 
He/she feels you are a poor player.  
He/she does not believe in you. 
He/she needs to guard himself/herself from you. 
He/she has issues sharing with you. 
He/she values possessions over you. 
He/she doesn’t believe you will amount to a thing. 
He/she needs to protect himself/herself from what you are capable of doing. 
He/she does not want to see you get your fair share. 
He/she needs to be extra, extra secure.


When love just isn't enough ;-)

Friday, March 30, 2012

Soul's Journey




A tiny beam resides,
encased.

Circling in a sphere,
imprisoned.

Fighting to escape,
energized.

Pushing on all walls,
surrounded.

Aiming for its home,
released.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Elections

Transparency ~ fluid, clear, unattainable.

Democracy ~ failing, festering, sealed.

Both enlightened concepts,

Both fighting darkness to escape,

Both sparking, flickering,
yet never lighting.

Forever trapped in the apathy
of the human mind.


Wednesday, October 19, 2011

For A Moment In Time


For a moment in time,
I felt the wind beneath my feet.

For a moment in time,
I climbed the hilltops that were steep.

For a moment in time,
I reached the clouds that were so high.

For a moment in time,
I inhaled beauty that did not die.

For years every moment was dedicated to an eternal search for those hypnotic moments in time that left me breathless. Those moments that haunted my every dream, that haunted my every waking hour.

I existed in a world where moments needed to be captured and caged, where moments needed to be totally devoured. Ironically in a twist of fate, time itself began to weigh down those moments to the point of gasping imprisonment. Enslaved by my own thirst of the moment, I struggled to seek an escape.

Finally, the magical power that once existed in the moment with its promise of everlasting euphoria lost its hold over me. For once, time allowed me the gift of breaking away. The chains that bound my hands, my feet, my mind, my soul began to release their hold on me.

Through the whispers of the wind, a sweetness more powerful than any moment in time appeared to me and set me free. Free to appreciate not just a particular moment but 'every' moment time had to offer. Free to feel life's moments caress my skin and cover me with a blanket of their love.

Free to give birth to a flight that through its turmoil decided that chaos should give birth to a tiny, little, lost and weathered pebble ... me.