Sunday, May 14, 2017

Dear Mommy



I was just thinking of how different life might have been.

Moments slipped by so fast, so many lost and forgotten.

Nothing truly captured, reality sadly erased with time.

Here we are now holding on to the seconds of life.

Trying to feel the heartbeats, keeping the tears inside our minds.

Wishing the journey had lasted longer, maybe with gentler kinder waves.

I know you're still here loving me with all that you have.

It's just that a part of you is trapped unable to communicate your love.

This loss has me lost and frightened, desperately yearning for the clock to rewind.

All I want is for you know and understand how much I love you.

That we are eternally connected by something greater than life.

Without you I lose myself and slowly cease to exist.

I know these words are too late and meaningless now.

I just thought I had plenty of time to say them.

I hope you feel them somehow and know that my heart is forever with you.

Happy Mother's Day mommy - I am always here for you.


Monday, May 1, 2017

Wherever Here Is


Ok, so I don't know where here is.

Seems simple enough a statement but has me wandering under bridges.

Is here before or after you?

Is here my mind, my body or my soul?


Tough to figure out wherever here is.

I thought I knew, I thought it was clear enough,

but I don't seem to know a thing anymore.

I figure it's alright not to know, to float, to dream,


to live in two parallel worlds.

Wherever here is, now seems to be suspended

somewhere between me and you.



Saturday, March 25, 2017

I'm Racing

Rhythm lost, conformity dead, sword broken

Cobwebs imprison my mind grounded

Something's missing, can't place it. can't grasp it

Racing the darkness before it arrives

Keeping in shadows layering armor

I'm racing


Shielding life

Exhausted by people who walk with the purpose of stepping off cliffs

Discouraged by those I find sitting on ledges

Wordless disappointment, unexplainable loss

Chasing moon drops for a sign

Waiting for answers to unfold

I'm Racing


Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Dearest Love

Dearest love,

I am writing to let you know that I have missed you.

Sometimes when it's really quiet I hear the sound of your voice in my head.

Other times for no reason at all your image flashes before me.

I wish that I had hugged you when I said goodbye, held  you close for one last time.

I wish that I had told you that I loved you dearly, but words escaped me as I ran.


I never knew how to truly believe, how to stop to be loved.

I never felt forever was in me, that peace could occupy my soul.

So today I decided to write and let you know that you're still living inside me,

deeply engraved in every crevice of my heart.

As for me I seem to be somewhere between the earth and the howling wind,


still unsettled, still at war, still unable to come find you.

I hope you understand.

For now just know that I carry you with me everywhere I go,

and maybe one day the paths that pulled us apart might bring us together again.

I love you.

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Forever Changed

Never a straight line is the path down a mountain.

The rock falling will encounter obstacles that will hinder its descent.

Rubbing it, blocking it, redirecting it little by little wearing it down.

Sadly the journey will not be without its countless scars.

Some rocks will get stuck in the grooves along the way, ending their trip. 


Some will be shattered beyond recognition and form, while others

will be softened with each blow made to lose their shimmering edge.

But no matter the downward course, all will be forever changed.

No rock will ever be as it was, leaving in its place 

fragmented pieces of what once stood high.